The Anxiety Monster misbehaves in different ways from person to person making this subject even more difficult to address and assess. I am familiar with the symptoms and years of having anxiety had made me read and research about it frantically.  When Coronavirus hit and the quarantine started I knew what was coming.  I could feel The Anxiety Monster approaching like the shark in Jaws, with the music and all. And I was right. During the first month, I had to apply all of my methods in order to keep the Anxiety Monster at bay. It was hard, it has been hard. I had bad days and good days like anyone else. But in the end, I knew how to battle this monster, even if I had to push harder some days I knew I had the tools. Because there is one big lesson that having anxiety has left me with, is that bad days are opportunities to learn and that recovering from an episode requires a tremendous amount of strength. So yes, there have been those dark days during the past two months that I had to battle the monster with all my weapons and learning the lessons.

Having certain levels of anxiety is normal and of course, in this situation, it was expected. However, when things started to change in March, the levels of anxiety increased especially among mothers that now were facing a new reality: working from home while they were not used to, having the kids around 24/7, adding the distance learning thing to the equation, and the whole frenzy that coronavirus was generating. For others dealing with anxiety already, the symptoms got kind of worse, or at least they were putting people on the edge. So there were moms all over the place experimenting with anxiety symptoms without knowing what the heck was going on and there were moms sinking into those same symptoms knowing what they meant. The thing with anxiety is that since we don’t talk about it, since we don’t say how it feels so often, especially among mothers, we fail to recognize what we have hence we don’t know how to fix it.

Let’s start by saying that anxiety can be present even when you are calm. It can be triggered by something or not. You might have physical symptoms that you are not able to understand like sudden dizziness, sweating, racing heart, shortness of breath, and muscle tension. They vary from mild to severe depending on your level of anxiety. Also, you may have other reactions like insomnia, irritability, difficulty concentrating, crying, or yelling abruptly…  When your worries and symptoms are more constant, they come without a specific trigger, they last for longer periods of time and you start finding it more difficult to control them, that’s when your Anxiety Monster is getting bigger and bigger. And that’s when it’s time to ask for help and talk about it.

There is one symptom that can be scary and confusing but don’t worry. I got your back and we’ll discuss some tips. If anxiety has a best friend that is the one and only panic attack. I will explain to you what it feels for me. It can happen at any moment. I could be driving or watching a movie or sleeping. Yes, it has happened when I am sleeping.  Then out of the blue, I feel a hot flash, and then I start feeling dizzy. I immediately think that I am going to faint. That dull sensation starts a chain reaction in my brain, releasing a bunch of other stressful random thoughts that create a massive mess in my head.  “What if it’s something else, like a heart attack?” “What if I go back to sleep and I never wake up?” “What if I faint and I crash?” “Maybe I have Coronavirus…” Then those thoughts get tangled. In seconds, all of the messages that I have created, all at the same time, all colliding with each other while I desperately try to find a resolution, sink me into a messy hole. All of this feels ten times worse when one of those episodes happens in front of my kids.

You can also experience symptoms that could be similar to a heart attack like chest pains and shortness of breath. I have read about cases of people thinking they had contracted Coronavirus and ended up in the hospital to find out they were just experiencing anxiety. And I understand those people because in the past I have ended up in the ER because I felt I was dying. Fortunately, I am still here and those were just panic attacks that eventually subsided. Those physical symptoms are real, and you should not feel ashamed if this happens to you and if you feel you need to get medical attention you just do what you got to do. The problem is bigger when the shame of it all makes us hide perfectly a panic attack. You can act your ass off, awake the Meryl Streep in you, and easily feel like you deserve an Oscar, when you are able to mask a panic attack. A person can seem perfectly normal and having a panic attack in front of your eyes. People tend to think that because of the word ‘panic’ it means that the person suffering an episode is always shaking, or screaming, or visibly altered. Let me tell you something, we can be smiling but inside we are burning. And the only reason behind this is because we feel embarrassed and afraid to seem vulnerable. 

Let’s talk about solutions. It doesn’t matter what kind of anxiety level you have, I want to give you 3 tools that have helped me especially during this time when anxiety has increased.

1. Use a Breathing Technique.

There tons of examples on the internet and you can find them on YouTube easily but the one I go to is a breathing counting pattern technique called 4-4-4. You breathe in counting 4 seconds, then hold it for another 4 seconds, and slowly release the air counting another 4 seconds and repeat as many times it’s necessary. Controlling your breathing can help you calm down, preventing hyperventilation hence other anxiety symptoms as well.

2. Have an Anxiety Distractor Buddy.

Choose a person you can talk to when you have a panic attack or have an anxiety episode, he or she can help you go through it with breathing exercises, or sending you funny GIFS or messages. Sometimes a good chat will help you when you need support.  Choose that person wisely. You have to trust your friend.

3. Have an In Case of Emergency Kit.

This is simply an assembly of things, objects that ease your tension or offer some immediate distraction. Assembling those items is very personal because what works for one person might won’t work for another. I will give you my example.  I always carry a stress ball to squeeze, a little bottle of perfume or hand sanitizer (now this is even more useful) so I can have something strong to smell; I also have my prescription of “in case of emergency pills” which I lately haven’t used as much as I did in the past (medicine is a subject for another blog post so stay tuned) and water. So find your own kit, you can even include favorite music, a candy you like, a fidget spinner (remember those?) the sky is the limit!

My ultimate recommendation and I can’t stress this enough is to talk to your doctor about it. Don’t let the monster grow if you can stop it. Because the thing with anxiety is that you can have an episode and just keep waiting for the next, in fear, and it just becomes a devious cycle.

Have you had a panic attack? Tell me about your experience.

Download my guide of TIPS FOR ANXIETY DURING CORONAVIRUS HERE.

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