My attempt to incorporate my running practice into my spiritual one. Will it work?
It’s January 31st. As I have always stated, January for me is like a big long Monday. You suddenly pass from the holidays’ bliss into adjusting to a whole new year and considering that last year was 2020 (no explanation needed) January 2021 has been let’s say challenging. A lot has happened for the past 31 days. For the majority of people, January is a fresh page, the opportunity to start anew. I don’t believe in resolutions, as I have come to realize they were bringing me more anxiety and frustration year after year. Instead, I decided to start this new year with more present intention and mindfulness, trying to concentrate in day-to-day terms rather than pressuring myself to obtain certain goals because if 2020 taught me something is that plans change, and you need to adapt and redirect your priorities, making changes on the road if necessary.
But let’s go back to 2020 for a bit. I know that overall it was tough. Even though I accomplished a lot during the year, for me it was sort of like a test. The year was very serendipitous for me. I started it by writing, finishing, and editing my first non-fiction book, The Anxious Mom Manifesto, set to be released in a couple of months from now. In there, I lay out all the methods, experiences, set-backs, and my whole story about dealing with anxiety all my life. Particularly 18 sentences that became my mantras on my journey, and that have helped me to keep the Anxiety Monster at bay. However, the pandemic hit with an unexpected series of events. As I was preparing my book for its publication, month after month I was encountering situations that made me retest every single method I was proposing on my book. Like the universe telling me: “Here is your chance to prove yourself if all those things you are saying in there do real work”. The biggest test came October 29, 2020, when I tested positive for Covid-19 along with my husband. That was the moment when Triggerion, my Anxiety Monster, came back to hit me full force. As my husband’s and my own physical symptoms were mild (thankfully), my head was in a big battle with the monster. While my body was fighting Covid, my mind was fighting Triggerion. The entire Covid experience for me was harder mentally than any other thing. As I say in the book, anxiety can always be present in your life, what matters is how you deal with it so it doesn’t take over completely. After what happened in November and fully recovered, I took December as a chance to decompress. It worked!
But then came the New Year. Time to start over. I launched a 21-day Challenge, Drops of Mindfulness, to help me and others set up an intention for what’s coming and keep the feet on the ground no matter what, becoming more present and enjoying the process rather than the outcome. I got to say it was wonderful for me, but when I finished, it made me realize that still there is something bothering me, like a stone in my shoe. Like a little trash leftover from 2020.
I had to admit that when I finished writing the book a year ago I was questioning it.” Should I publish this?” “Is it going to be helpful?” After 2020 happened and all that I got to overcome financially, physically, emotionally, and mentally now I can say with 100% confidence: YES! But I have come to terms that we are constantly in need of expansion and evolution. And I will continue searching my way to do so, plus I still need to understand exactly the meaning of that stone in my shoe. I thought and thought about it. After having listened to many audiobooks and read a lot of others on the subject of spirituality during 2020, I realized that what I was feeling was a connection between how I was perceiving myself physically with how I wanted to feel inside, spiritually. I had the mental part covered, thanks to the writing and the publishing of my book. But I started noticing that physically and spiritually I have been struggling. I have learned how my emotions are my gauge or my thermostat. So when I feel uncomfortable, sad even, I know the disconnection is there and that if I ignore it might spiral and grow. I need to fix this or at least try. Maybe the fact that I gained almost 20 pounds during last year had an influence. Or that I haven’t seen my family in almost two years. I don’t know. All I know is that I am not on my 100% game before I release one of the most significant books of my writing life. And that if I don’t make the connection I crave, I am preventing my soul from enjoying this special moment in my life. Also, nobody else is going to find this connection for me, it is my responsibility and my desire.
Connecting the dots I thought of running. See, running for me has never had to do with losing weight or getting in shape. I started doing it in 2014 after I ran my first 5k. I have done many races after that and I usually use running to get clarity, to get inspired, to think, or to challenge myself. The physical experience is secondary although I enjoy it when I get better timing, more endurance, or get to run longer distances. It pushes me to compete with myself. And also, is the time when I connect with my soul. I have conversations with my inner being while I run. My ideas start flowing. I feel accomplished after I complete a run even if it is a short one. So maybe I should run more. I should put different intentions into practice and see where it takes me. This is the reason why I came up with the challenge I am about to embark on. For the month of February, I will run every day. I used some programs I found in running magazines as a base for my upcoming month. I am not asking you to do this challenge with me. I am not a physician, I am a storyteller and this is what you will find here a story. My before and after will not be two pictures side to side comparing weight or measurements. I am looking for an internal transformation experience, a motivational and spiritual one. And of course, running or any other exercise has benefits for the body! I am making sure I will eat properly, cross-train from time to time, stretch after every run, and I am incorporating resting days and walking intervals. Trust me, the least I want is to get injured. I also planned for accountability and I told a friend about this, and she will receive a text before and after my daily routine, with appropriate pictures. For the rest, if you are interested in my experiment, I will document it here, in hopes of maybe publishing it someday. For now, I will keep you posted on my blog weekly, and will let you know what I encounter and learn in the process. Sometimes the most amazing things start like this, maybe this is also going to give my year a sense of serendipity. And I welcome it!
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