In a few days, I will get on a plane to Miami to do something I haven’t done in a long time. Not exactly a pleasure trip. I’m attending as a blogger to Hispanicize 2013, an incredible event for Latino pioneers in social media, marketing, entertainment and in which I will take the opportunity to do the networking I haven’t done since I left the office world, already several years ago. Yes, that world with schedules and bosses, that world that is almost unrecognizable for me now, or as I call it my own village of La Mancha “name of which I have no desire to call to mind”. Nothing I have learned to appreciate more than the power to manage my time, to be free and do what I really enjoy doing, despite not receiving a paycheck every month or have the security offered by a permanent employment.
But hey. My point is that I will go and I’m will go all alone, no daughter and no husband included. Something exciting and scary at the same time. Fascinating because I believe that a mother SHOULD do this kind of things. Either go on a trip with friends, go to a work convention, or whatever it is that serves her to disconnect for a while, even if it is for just a couple of days, and thus contribute to her happiness and that of her family. Happy mom, happy family. In addition, because as moms we tend to forget about ourselves, our dreams, and we always end up with that feeling that characterizes us: guilt. And this is not good for anyone.
Here comes the terrifying part. Although there have been already a few times that my two year old daughter has stayed alone with dad or grandparents, this mom will never get used to say goodbye. That part is what hurts me the most though her crying lasts just a few minutes and then she goes like: Mom who?
With my husband, we both think these small trips are a blessing for us (because he also has them). They occur sporadically and we don’t reproach each other. On the contrary, they have become our secret to maintaining a strong relationship, filled with trust and respect, a way to support what each other really is, what the other likes and what the other wants to do. We both know it and there is no better feeling than to have that vote of confidence. Nothing worse than the jealous husband who you must report to every five minutes, and whom you need to send millions of photos while you’re out, because if not he goes and have a heart attack. That doesn’t mean that you leave and forget about your family. Sure, calls, photos spontaneously and in the right and convenient time are essential.
What scares me the most is not knowing what you will find when you return home. That part is outside the domain of any mom, even the most controlling one. Children may be facing different schedules, or have been fed chocolates and Mac and cheese all week, not to mention how you will find the kitchen and the laundry. Sure there are husbands who are exceptions to the rule, (I think that Americans fall into this category according to my friends) and are capable of multitasking just as moms do. They can watch the kids and do a million things at home and work at the same time. Well unfortunately mine can’t when he is alone. So every time I return from a trip I always expect to find mountains of clothes, dishes everywhere and a huge mess. When this does not happen is a real plus. But usually it is not, and perhaps is the little Machiavellian revenge of my husband for my “temporary abandonment”, that I will never know.
My point is that all of this does not matter. The gains behind a mother’s solo trip are priceless. We feel renewed, full of energy even if our trip has left us physically exhausted, it gives our children and partner the opportunity to miss and value us, we feel unique and relevant, and most importantly, those trips help us to reconnect with our inner self, with that woman who we really are and we forgot along the way with everything going around in our lives. So moms, don’t fear to fly solo once in a while! Go on a trip alone! No guilt, no much thought. Everyone wins, I assure you.
What do you think?
