“Yes that’s what I need. Vacations!” I think while I am counting the days to get on the plane that will take me to Puerto Rico. Beach and sea breeze, what more can I ask for? But let’s be honest. Many times when I’ve gone on a trip, the less I do is relaxing.
Traveling with a toddler requires some patience and mental preparation, especially when you are suffering from the “terrible twos” at full throttle. And let’s add that my daughter will be the flower girl at a wedding we are planning to attend during the weekend and in which I have high hopes she will behave. But who knows what can happen? Moms do not judge me but I’ll give her candy to keep her happy. It will only be for a few hours and the “sugar rush” can be controlled temporarily, (let me at least believe so, anyway this will be a topic for another post).
The truth is that this upcoming vacation trip will just last a few days. However, my “mommy brain” has to plan and think about everything, while my husband keeps calm and relaxed while looking on the Internet where to go diving. “Why I cannot be like him?” I wonder. And then I got an idea like an epiphany.
The problem is that we as moms tend to think we need to have everything under control, because if we don’t who else will? And with that attitude we have been gradually converted our husbands into another child who we even need to prepare his suitcase for. As CEO and CFO of the family, because that is ultimately what we moms are, what you have to do is to focus on the distribution of functions and internal communications. That is the success of any business, isn’t it?
Well. It sounds a little psycho-rigid but if I want to enjoy my vacation, as this time is also mine, I will prepare a strategy. Or rather a manifesto of the mom at vacation time, and if you want you may steal it, adapt it, institutionalize it and share it!
- I refuse to be me and only me who packs and unpacks. I wont take responsibility for items, clothes or other personal objects that have been left at home or in the hotel. What was left behind is not my fault.
- I will take a couple of mornings (or insert here at least half of the time, less one day, of your stay, because that day subtracted has to be imperatively a family day) to devote them to me. I will relax, sleep until late, sunbathe, go for massage on the beach, or whatever it is I like to do. I wont be responsible for breakfast or any activity that requires my usual responsibilities as a mother and wife during this period. Unless it’s an emergency. Please understand by emergency something related to the health of my daughter, changing a diaper is not an emergency.
- I refuse to be me and only me the one responsible to calm any tantrum of my daughter during this time, starting with the plane trip. I propose to take turns.
- I refuse to take all the decisions and planning all the activities. (Note to husband as an example: as you like the Internet so much and carefully you have been searching for good diving information, you could also try to look for things that we can do together there. I will give my suggestions.)
- It is strictly forbidden to discuss work-related issues, bills to be paid, the problem we have with “x” or “y” person, or anything that creates any kind of tension or stress. That’s what the post-holiday period is for.
- Nor other important decisions will be in consideration during this period. The holidays can be considered as a state of temporary insanity in which often costs and benefits can be underestimated.
- The consumption of alcoholic beverages will not be restricted but the consequences are the sole responsibility of that who consumes them. I wont take care of hangovers nor they may serve as an excuse for failing to comply with responsibilities, so it is suggested that the counterparty don’t get drunk the day before my relaxation mornings. (This item is subject to change for future vacations once I will no longer be pregnant. Moms need liquor; I had said that elsewhere…)
- We will be committed to enjoy to the fullest, laugh, and take lots of pictures. We will enjoy every second of our vacation trip because all members of the family, including the dog, deserve them. And what happens on holidays stays on holidays…
Any other idea?
