Occasionally, I look at what I have in my library, both virtual and physical, to see if I run over an old good book because sometimes I like to re-read stuff when I can’t find something new that excites me. To my surprise I found that since I became a mother my reading has been focused mainly in parenting and my list of books seems a guide on how to become the perfect mom that I will never get to be, thanks God. When did I read all of this? Have I applied it all really? How all these readings have helped me?
This new generation of moms seems like a group of women searching in all these books the magic formula that can provide us the balance, the “have it all” thing. Since we become pregnant we are bombarded with guides that give us specific information on a monthly what to do if, how to care for a baby, feeding methods, etc … the list is long. Future moms believe me, by the time the baby is crying desperately, or when you have to give him or her a bath for the first time, and the only company you have during the day is the TV or a dog who becomes your very own “Richard Parker”, the last thing you look at is the freaking book. What acts instantly is your instinct, activated all the time. After that, the readings come to concentrate in growth according to the age: the first year, the “terrible twos”, terrible threes, fours, fives and keep counting because the bigger the children the bigger the problems. And so we end up with a collection of physical books, ebooks, audiobooks, and all kinds of books. What to do if the child does not eat, what to do if the child does not sleep, what to do if the child does not speak, what to do with the tantrums, what to do with the nightmares, and listen, for each subject there are different views from psychologists, pediatricians, desperate moms, experienced moms, and they contradict each other. The menu is huge.
I’m not saying that reading about parenting is bad. Do not get me wrong. Anything that provides knowledge and even a little sense of security (or worst case scenario at least hope) is positive. And in fact sometimes when your instinct is blocked amid desperation (yes, I speak of those moments when the mom has a mental picture of running away or jumping out the window) one is reminded of the theory “x ” that you read in the book “y” and sometimes it works. I admit it. But we are so bombarded with information that sometimes is overwhelming. And lets add the emails of those websites we have subscribed, journals, and other tips that people gives us. But do not despair. There are ways that this information does not become a headache but something interesting and that you can actually enjoy.
– If you have a problem and want to read something seek recommendations on those people you trust the most or rather, those who you complain with about life. That is your group of mom friends and if you don’t have one, look for it! I assure you that they not only will give you tips and advice on what to read or what to do. You can also share with them the sorrows and triumphs of everyday life and you cannot find that kind of support in any book.
– Do not forget about you pre-mom literary passions. Add to your library a new book, whether it is called 50 Shades of whatever. And make some time, even 15 minutes a day to read a little. Do not complain that you don’t have time, if Heidi Klum has it, why don’t you? And if you don’t, look for it!
– Add to your list of parenting magazine subscriptions others about fashion, fitness, lifestyle, anything that has not to do with diapers and pediatricians.
– If your concern is health related, always, ALWAYS consult with your pediatrician first.
– If a theory works for you, share your story! Or if you find something new, share it with the world. Somewhere a desperate mother will thank you.
Moms, what do you think?
